Let's imagine a scenario where the Fallout Wasteland is no longer pixels—it’s your backyard. Factions are clawing for dominance, and you’re picking sides in a world gone feral. Some are worth your caps; others deserve a Fat Man to the face. Here’s five factions we’d join if Fallout went real, five we’d torch, and a breakdown of their pros, cons, and who’d ultimately rule the rubble.
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Factions We’d Join
1. The Minutemen (Fallout 4)
Scrappy settlers rebuilding one shack at a time, the Minutemen are the Wasteland’s everyman heroes. We’d join for a grassroots shot at stability without bowing to tyrants.
- Pros: Community-driven, decentralized, and big on mutual aid—think neighborhood watch with laser muskets. Artillery support’s a bonus.
- Cons: Disorganized as hell, reliant on volunteers, and Preston’s “another settlement needs help” schtick could drive you nuts.
2. The Followers of the Apocalypse (Fallout: New Vegas)
Healers and thinkers spreading pre-war know-how, no strings attached. We’d sign up for the smarts to outlast the apocalypse, guns or not.
- Pros: Medical and tech skills that’d save your ass in a rad-storm. They’re selfless—rare in the Wasteland.
- Cons: Pacifists with no muscle, so you’re dodging bullets while they patch you up. Small numbers, big targets.
3. The Railroad (Fallout 4)
Synth-freeing rebels with a knack for stealth and sabotage. We’d join to stick it to oppressors and dodge the spotlight.
- Pros: Espionage masters—great for staying alive under the radar. Moral backbone keeps you human.
- Cons: Obsessed with synths over broader survival, and their tiny size makes them vulnerable to a stiff breeze.
4. The Kings (Fallout: New Vegas)
Elvis-loving greasers holding Freeside with swagger and heart. We’d join for a gang that’s fun to roll with when the world’s gone grim.
- Pros: Tight-knit loyalty and street-smarts—perfect for a small-scale crew. Cool factor’s unmatched.
- Cons: Limited scope (Freeside only) and no grand plan. They’re vibes, not visionaries.
5. The New California Republic (Fallout: New Vegas)
A flawed but functional government with boots on the ground. We’d enlist for structure and a paycheck, betting on their scale over chaos.
- Pros: Military might, infrastructure, and a blueprint for civilization. Numbers give them staying power.
- Cons: Corrupt, overstretched, and bogged down by red tape—efficiency’s not their forte.
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Factions We’d Let Burn
1. The Brotherhood of Steel (All Games)
Tech-obsessed knights who’d rather hoard than help. Nuke their bunker and scavenge the wreckage.
- Pros: Power armor and heavy weapons—undeniable firepower. Discipline keeps them tight.
- Cons: Elitist control freaks who alienate everyone outside their cult. Rigid dogma kills adaptability.
2. Caesar’s Legion (Fallout: New Vegas)
Slave empire with Roman flair and zero chill. Snipe Caesar and watch the dominoes tumble.
- Pros: Ruthless efficiency and fear factor—raiders think twice. Unified under Caesar’s iron fist.
- Cons: Built on slavery and brutality—morale’s a myth. Falls apart without its head.
Pre-war elitists dreaming of a “pure” world. Crash their toys into a Super Mutant camp!
- Pros: Advanced tech (vertibirds, plasma rifles) gives them an edge. Organized and well-equipped.
- Cons: Tiny numbers and a genocidal PR disaster—everyone hates them. Isolation’s their doom.
4. The Institute (Fallout 4)
Synth-making scientists with a God complex. Flood their lab with irradiated sludge!
- Pros: Cutting-edge tech and synth armies—scary potential. Hidden base buys time.
- Cons: Detached from reality, distrusted by all, and reliant on fragile systems.
5. The Unity (Fallout 1)
Super Mutant cult forcing evolution via FEV. Rig their Vault to blow and end the experiment!
Pros: Physically unstoppable mutants—raw power’s their game. Fanatical unity.
Cons: Insane goal (turn everyone green) alienates survivors. Sterility kills their future.
Bonus: Who Wins IRL—and Why?
In a real apocalypse, the New California Republic (NCR) takes the crown, and here’s why:
The NCR’s got numbers, territory, and a functioning (if creaky) system—think troops, farms, and trade. No other faction matches their scope. They’re not perfect—corruption and bureaucracy suck—but they’ve shown they can evolve, absorb setbacks, and keep pushing, unlike the rigid Brotherhood or Legion. They are the closest thing we remember from our glory days, as sad as that may sound. Additionally, they’re one of my favorite factions in Fallout, so it all comes together nicely. :)
The Minutemen and Followers could join forces with them (shared goals of rebuilding), while the Enclave, Institute, and Unity burn bridges with everyone. Caesar’s Legion might hold ground through terror, but it’s a house of cards without succession. In a real Wasteland, survival isn’t just about guns—it’s about food, water, and stability. The NCR’s got the infrastructure to outlast flashier foes who’d collapse under their own weight (looking at you, Institute).
The Brotherhood’s too insular, the Legion’s too brittle, and the Enclave’s too hated. The Unity’s a mutant pipe dream, and the Institute’s synths can’t replace human grit. Smaller crews like the Railroad, Kings, and Followers lack the muscle to dominate—they’d survive, not conquer. The Minutemen could rise if they got their act together, but they’re too scattered to topple the NCR’s sprawl.
We’d ride with the NCR, Minutemen, Followers, Railroad, or Kings—factions with heart, brains, or a shot at something better. The rest? Torch ‘em—they’re either tyrants, lunatics, or relics. In the real Wasteland, the NCR’s messy democracy wins not because it’s flawless, but because it’s got the numbers and the will to grind it out.
So, when the bombs hit, who’s your pick? Grab your Nuka-Cola, aim your sights, and let’s hope we never find out for real!
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Which Fallout Faction would you join if falout went real?
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